You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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