Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize