we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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