i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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