Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize