Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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