so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize