our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
