You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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