it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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