i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
