You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize