Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
