I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
