At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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