but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize