You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
