He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
How external is "for external use only"?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
