lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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