no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
he quoted the bible to break up with me
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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