rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
