:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
