Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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