I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I still have a little drunk in my system
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
