My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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