Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
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