Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
