Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
