ADVERTISEMENT

• (530): View more from California

  You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.

  Fav 58 3959 8150

  share tweet
  

• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?

  Fav 55 10761 1352

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (205): View more from Alabama

  I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.

  Fav 34 5927 1110

  share tweet
  

• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.

  Fav 26 8493 1705

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  Thanks, mom.

  Fav 25 2272 4937

  share tweet
  

• (928): View more from Arizona

  proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors

  Fav 2 1876 845

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (517): View more from Michigan

  Here's my first problem: I'm drunk

  Fav 13 2362 872

  share tweet
  

• (269): View more from Michigan

  Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome

  Fav 4 1640 1005

  share tweet
  

• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...

  Fav 11 1600 702

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (443): View more from Maryland

  Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE

  Fav 4 1036 551

  share tweet
  

• (714): View more from California

  Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.

  Fav 1 643 626

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (740): View more from Ohio

  we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus

  Fav 0 782 454

  share tweet
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone

  Fav 0 409 897

  share tweet
  

• (224): View more from Illinois

  how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.

  Fav 0 234 156

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms

  Fav 0 54 7

  share tweet
  

Randomize