Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  hotel room ftw

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  (313): hotel room ftw http://tfl.nu/h1xu
  Replies (5) Good night (2139) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on

  (818): View more from California

  and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top

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  (818): i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on (818): and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top http://tfl.nu/u7hy
  Replies (3) Good night (794) Bad night (2707)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.

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  (256): I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with. http://tfl.nu/f7yk
  Replies (11) Good night (6111) Bad night (1328)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.

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  (630): Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol. http://tfl.nu/s5um
  Replies (10) Good night (6354) Bad night (1523)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth

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  (807): I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth http://tfl.nu/b4j6
  Replies (18) Good night (7314) Bad night (1377)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.

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  (312): This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/7nbz
  Replies (28) Good night (5286) Bad night (2405)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone

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  (609): I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone http://tfl.nu/cpqs
  Replies (5) Good night (1749) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?

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  (713): OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer? http://tfl.nu/g8wt
  Replies (13) Good night (909) Bad night (2540)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.

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  (604): After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me. http://tfl.nu/m19j
  Replies (5) Good night (1719) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.

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  (832): Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome. http://tfl.nu/loiz
  Replies (5) Good night (2690) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.

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  (402): Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end. http://tfl.nu/ykik
  Replies (4) Good night (1171) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up

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  (919): at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up http://tfl.nu/r47i
  Replies (3) Good night (827) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  am i new drunk or am i still drunk

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  (561): am i new drunk or am i still drunk http://tfl.nu/zvnj
  Replies (3) Good night (837) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios

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  (315): It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios http://tfl.nu/u2ql
  Replies (1) Good night (591) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.

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  (804): I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer... (919): it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth. http://tfl.nu/fj5d
  Replies (0) Good night (349) Bad night (176)

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