Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism

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  (847): just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism http://tfl.nu/1jbk
  Replies (12) Good night (657) Bad night (2482)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  did it start talking like on Land before time?

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  (518): i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur (413): did it start talking like on Land before time? http://tfl.nu/4v1u
  Replies (12) Good night (4021) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?

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  (305): why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do? http://tfl.nu/hnao
  Replies (18) Good night (582) Bad night (5673)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes

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  (410): i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes http://tfl.nu/11ee
  Replies (13) Good night (2009) Bad night (2922)
• Favorite

  (380): View more from Ohio

  She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time

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  (380): She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time http://tfl.nu/cp8c
  Replies (5) Good night (1126) Bad night (2562)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid

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  (715): if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid http://tfl.nu/otel
  Replies (8) Good night (1031) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already

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  (651): Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already http://tfl.nu/xrp9
  Replies (13) Good night (1132) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.

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  (414): Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course. http://tfl.nu/ipu8
  Replies (7) Good night (1225) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.

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  (919): I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face. http://tfl.nu/kivi
  Replies (6) Good night (386) Bad night (1402)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012

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  (217): You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012 http://tfl.nu/onux
  Replies (4) Good night (1050) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.

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  (912): He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist. http://tfl.nu/1sb8
  Replies (7) Good night (2175) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.

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  (843): I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job. http://tfl.nu/6er2
  Replies (1) Good night (980) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.

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  (214): I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports. http://tfl.nu/apdh
  Replies (4) Good night (630) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional

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  (908): I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional http://tfl.nu/0jgi
  Replies (4) Good night (455) Bad night (174)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups

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  (509): My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups http://tfl.nu/v3c2
  Replies (5) Good night (195) Bad night (421)

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