Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
