i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
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If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018