Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
