Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Oh god it's open bar.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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