i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i love accidental penises.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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