just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
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Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
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When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize