Kareoke will never be a sober sport
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize