He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
im holly from the hills drunk
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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