The maid of honor just puked.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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