he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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