dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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