I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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