mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
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Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
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going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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