my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
