K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
