It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize