the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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