so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize