and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
