The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You're like the curious george of whores
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
