I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
PANTIES FOUND
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
