I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
