Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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