u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
