I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
