those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Randomize
