in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
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The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
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Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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