why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Randomize