i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
