I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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