Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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