For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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