The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
