hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Randomize
