The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
