we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
