I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
