East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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