jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
