I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
