i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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