You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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