chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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