omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
