I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
