words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
