On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
