The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
